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The saying goes “you can’t choose your parents”, however, we actually do.  

When choosing our next reincarnation on earth we make agreements with many other souls. Many of whom are already experiencing life as a human being, and we pre-agree how we will play a part in each others’ lives.  Our soul also makes agreements and choose the experiences you will have, circumstances you will find yourself in and the lessons that you will learn.  It is usual for the agreements that our soul makes to experience certain events and circumstances which are linked to the agreements that we have with other souls.  Some of these other souls will be your family on earth and thus, we choose our parents.

It is normal, and appropriate, to forget the agreements that you made prior to reincarnating to earth, in fact if you did remember it would make it harder, maybe impossible, to learn all the lessons that you wanted to learn. You  would be influenced by the memories and experiences of the past. You chose to have a fresh start with these souls in this lifetime.

Karmic influences

In this existence, one is reaping the harvest of seeds sown by actions; karma of past lives, while at the same time planting new seeds to ripen in the life to come. The word karma is the Sanskrit term for action, encompassing not only the initial action itself, but also all its consequences. Thus it is called ‘karma’ or the Law of Cause and Effect.

The Law of Cause and Effect states that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. A common misunderstanding of karma is seen as a punishment for past actions, but rather an opposing reaction to it. Karma seeks to bring the universe back into balance. And reincarnation allows you many opportunities to restore that balance through good thoughts, words and actions. Some of which may be difficult, such as forgiveness.

Switched Roles

Often the roles that we play on earth are switched from reincarnation to reincarnation on earth in order for us to teach and learn from each other.  A common example of role switching is to go from being the parent to being the child, from male to female, from lovers to enemies.  This can cause confusing family dynamics because on a soul level we remember lifetimes where for example we were our parents’ parents when in this lifetime we are their child. 

Some believe that we are repeatedly reborn into the same family line in different roles, to ultimately heal the family line and this school of thought can supported by some revelations from near death experiences. You may be the reincarnated great, great grandmother for example. Toxic families are often tied in to repeating patterns and karmic cycles with other members of their soul family. We make oaths and vows with these family members which can impact our life and our hinder our ability to act independently. 

Families can offer a kind, supportive, loving space or challenging and painful experiences that have a profound negative effect on you.  Odd as it may seem on a human level, some say that the souls who teach us the harshest and cruellest lessons, are in fact the ones who love us the most dearly, because it takes an enormous amount of love to hurt someone you love for the sake of their evolution.

KidsRunning Woods - How to Deal with Abuse in Family

Our family is instrumental to our growth.

We incarnate to experience all aspects of life so that our understanding and awareness can increase; by knowing hate we can know joy.  It is through the expansion of our awareness that we grow closer to enlightenment, source, Christ or Buddhic Consciousness.    

It is our family who challenge us the most, especially in the case of toxic, abusive families who emotionally, physically and spiritually harm you.  Your soul may have chosen a family who abuses you verbally, physically or sexually, impedes your rights, boundaries and free will that help us to learn and grow.  Experiences that we go through at the hand of family members, such as degradation, humiliation, abandonment and abuse can damage our hearts and souls so much that they can fracture, break and sometimes even shatter. This is know in Theta Healing® as the Broken Soul.

It is often the act of a damaged heart or broken soul that sets many on the path of self healing, or leads us to those who can help us heal our soul.  And for many, it is the process of healing themselves that leads them closer to, or strengthens, their spiritual path and connection with creation, bringing them closer to fulfilling their life purpose and being of huge benefit to humanity as a whole.

In a gentle way, you can shake the world. – Mahatma Gandhi

Why choose abuse?

You choose abuse to create something powerful out of it. Abuse is a great gift in disguise in many way as it offers you the opportunity to overcome the trauma and “drama” of your circumstances in favour of embracing life and learning to rise above the unconscious actions of your family, friends or society that is driven by their unawakened soul’s desire to learn and grow, in whatever way it maybe.

Abuse is an opportunity to forgive.

Forgiveness doesn’t not condone the abuse. Forgiveness set you free from holding onto the abuse which may be continuing to torture you today. The virtue of forgiveness is a very high vibration which can be your protection. Forgiveness can dissolve the negativity and psychic attack of others.

Heartbreak and trauma paves the way to a stronger, more beautiful heart and soul that, once healed, can then welcome love and joy into its life with such strength, power and confidence that the true magica and depths of love can be fully explored and experienced.

Sometimes it is the total lack of hope and faith, and the illusion that you are truly separate from All That Is and alone that can be the trigger and driving force towards finding something more than ‘this’. A person will only see abuse as a gift however when they know and believe that they have the power within to change their circumstances and be free from toxicity when it comes to family.

When you fully overcome all the trauma and abuse and can look upon all those involved from a place of love, with a heart full of love for each one of of them, then you are in a very powerful position to help all those trapped and persecuted in similar cycles so prevalent here on earth.  

Protection through Forgiveness

In the Seven Planes of Existence book by Vianna Stibal, she expains a powerful, yet simple visualisation process for forgiveness. By entering into the Theta Healing® meditation, you visualise the person who has hurt you. You imagine telling them what they have done to you, how they hurt you. Imagine telling them you forgive them and watch their reaction.

If they are standing still in your vision and say they are sorry, then they have remorse for what they have done. You thought form of forgiveness will protect you, and you can have compassion for them. You may be shown what happened to them, which made them become the people they became.

If they disappear or walk away, it means they have no remorse. What they have to learn is not completed. But your energy of forgiveness will protect you from them.

If they stand still in front of you, without remorse, then what you have to learn is not yet finished. There are lessons left for you form this situation. This will mean you need to do belief work on yourself.

The Little Soul and the Sun

In this profound children’s book by Donald Neal Walsch, The Little Soul and the Sun tells the story of a little boy soul wishing to learn more of what it is. God responds saying you are love. But the little boy soul had no other frame of reference other than love and it wished to experience the virtue of forgiveness.

“That’s what I want to be. I want to be forgiving. I want to experience myself as that.”

But just then a Friendly Soul stepped forward from the crowd.
“Not to worry, Little Soul,” the Friendly Soul said, “I will help you.”
“You will?” the Little Soul brightened. “But what can you do?”
“Why, I can give you someone to forgive!”
“You can?”
“Certainly!” chirped the Friendly Soul. “I can come into your next lifetime and do something for you to forgive.”
“But why? Why would you do that?”
the Little Soul asked.
“You, who are a Being of such utter perfection! You, who vibrate with such a speed that it creates a Light so bright that I can hardly gaze upon you! What could cause you to want to slow down your vibration to such a speed that your bright Light would become dark and dense? What could cause you ~ who are so light that you dance upon the stars and move through the Kingdom with the speed of your thought–to come into my life and make yourself so heavy that you could do this bad thing?”

“Simple,” the Friendly Soul said. “I would do it because I love you.”

The Little Soul seemed surprised at the answer.

“Don’t be so amazed,” said the Friendly Soul, “you have done the same thing for me. Don’t you remember? Oh, we have danced together, you and I, many times. Through the eons and across all the ages have we danced. Across all time and in many places have we played together. You just don’t remember.”

“I will have to slow down my vibration and become very heavy to do this not-so-nice thing. I will have to pretend to be something very unlike myself. And so, I have but one favour to ask of you in return.”

“Oh, anything, anything!” cried the Little Soul, and began to dance and sing, “I get to be forgiving, I get to be forgiving!”

Then the Little Soul saw that the Friendly Soul was remaining very quiet.

“What is it?” the Little Soul asked. “What can I do for you? You are such an angel to be willing to do this for me!”

“Of course this Friendly Soul is an angel!” God interrupted. “Everyone is! Always remember: I have sent you nothing but angels.”

And so the Little Soul wanted more than ever to grant the Friendly Soul’s request. “What can I do for you?” the Little Soul asked again.

“In the moment that I strike you and smite you,” the Friendly Soul replied, “in the moment that I do the worst to you that you could possible imagine ~ in that very moment…”

“Yes?” the Little Soul interrupted, “yes…?””Remember Who I Really Am.”

“Oh, I will!” cried the Little Soul, “I promise! I will always remember you as I see you right here, right now!”

“Good,” said the Friendly Soul, “because, you see, I will have been pretending so hard, I will have forgotten myself. And if you do not remember me as I really am, I may not be able to remember for a very long time. And if I forget Who I Am, you may even forget Who You Are, and we will both be lost. Then we will need another soul to come along and remind us both of Who We Are.”

“No, we won’t!” the Little Soul promised again. “I will remember you! And I will thank you for bringing me this gift ~ the chance to experience myself as Who I Am.”

And so, the agreement was made. And the Little Soul went forth into a new lifetime, excited to be the Light, which was very special, and excited to be that part of special called Forgiveness.

About Anna Kitney