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Love is the sweetest and most beautiful experience of them all. It brings a sense of fullness, contentment and an excitement that makes you smile and dance for no reason. Love, I believe is our path towards enlightenment for it teaches us many virtues like kindness, compassion, tenderness, acceptance, tolerance, understanding, wisdom and courage.

Except love is missing from many people lives. You may be one of them?
Perhaps it is because you are single and are still looking for the ‘one.’?
Or maybe you feel lonely even though you are in a relationship?

After working with thousands of people in my private practice, the majority  come because they are after love. Here are the top four reason’s that inhibit the experience of love.

1. Corrupted Love Patterns

If you were born into a family that did not have a healthy understanding of love. There is a high probability that you will have a corrupted or distorted understandings of what it is. For example if you parents fought and argued often, then you would have received the message that love is filled with tension, arguments or pain. If your mother abounded  or neglected you, then you would receive the belief that love always leaves. Or perhaps you experienced a partner who ‘loved’ you so much that he/she became possessive and jealous and left you feeling unsafe, controlled or suffocated in love.

Many of the distorted love beliefs are formed early on in life and we take them on as ‘normal’ because we have nothing to compare it to. It is only when adulthood comes around and we find ourselves in toxic and unhealthy relationships and are forced to heal so we don’t continue the distorted patterns.

What corrupted love patterns did your family pass on to you?

2. Not enough love

The other very common issue I find, is that there was simply not enough love in the family while growing up. Perhaps father spent too much time at work, or mother was cold and could not show affection. Some children went to boarding school and other children were raised by television. All these situations create loneliness and isolation patterns within. In worst cases they stop one from understanding how love can be created and shared. Love is a force that is so large that it needs to be shared and expressed through words, actions, touch, hugs and kisses.  For us to feel completely loved we need to experience all forms of it, not just one.

What forms of love do you feel missing from your life the most.

3. Still energetically connected to past relationships

Although a relationship can technically finish, many still emotionally or energetically hang on to past relationships. Maybe because you felt unfairly treated, were rejected or enjoy the illusion they that they will return. Whatever your story maybe, one thing is for sure anytime we are in a relationship with someone we share our body, minds and soul with them. In this exchange we mesh with them, and if the relationship ends we can be left feeling confused or anxious without them. For some it is because they did not maintain their individuality and during the relationship gave themselves away. For others it is because they are trying to hang on to what is no longer there. The problem with both of these scenarios is that it energetically reads as though you are still in a relationships and this makes it difficult for new love to manifest.

Are there any past relationships that you are still connected to?

4. Unable to be own soul mate

Lastly and most importantly, in order for you to experience true love you must be your own soul mate. This means that you are able to love yourself more that anyone else can. It means that you honour and respect yourself so much that you become your own best friend. To expect someone else to complete you is a recipe for disaster. True love can only manifest when both parties overflow with so much self love that it pours into the other. When you are your own soul mate you are not looking for someone to fill you instead, you allow them to raise you into a greater experience of love.

Are You Your Own Soul Mate?

So if you are waiting for love or would like to become your own soul mate then I invite you to come and experience the Theta Healing® Soul Mates workshop in London.

I leave you with my favourite Rumi quote:


Close your Eyes.
Fall in Love.
Stay There.

Master love through relationships.

Join Vanya Silverten in a live recording that explores how to master love through relationships. The talk finishes with a guided meditation designed to heal your heart and awaken love.

© Copyright 2018, Bourgeon Ltd. Written by Vanya Silverten.