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Confidence seems to come naturally to certain people – it beams out of them and you can see it in the way they walk and talk. It’s a much-admired quality and for those who lack confidence, it can seem baffling how others appear to be born with it.

But everyone can experience a knock to their confidence and it’s an area many people would like to improve on. Even sporting superstars such as Serena Williams and much-admired actress Kate Winslet have spoken about an occasional lack of self-belief.

Confidence is a sought-after quality because it helps you tackle any challenge that might come your way head-on. But just because you don’t have it now, doesn’t mean you never will. Like any other skill, it can be learnt, practiced and mastered.

We’ve got seven tips to help even the most self-doubting amongst you increase your confidence.

1. Let go of your pastshutterstock 447651718 300x300 - How To Have More Confidence in 7 Steps

Before you can move forward as a confident individual, you’ve got to let go of thoughts which may be holding you back. This includes past experiences where things have gone wrong, which have become situations you now assume will always follow the same pattern. That simply isn’t the case.

For example, just because you’ve been knocked back on a first date in the past, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have the confidence to go on another. That experience won’t dictate your future.

Part of increasing your confidence is having the ability to validate yourself, rather than looking to others for approval.

Not only do other people care a lot less about the things you think they do, but you’ll be on a constant emotional rollercoaster if you rely upon the ever-changing opinions of others.

2. Forgive others

Letting go of your past might also involve forgiveness – a conscious decision to release the feelings of resentment or anger towards others. If someone has hurt you and caused a huge knock in your confidence, it isn’t an easy decision. But forgiveness isn’t an instantaneous event, so be patient and give yourself time to heal before genuinely forgiving others.

You’ve also got to remember people will continue to say and do hurtful things. Forgiving them is prioritising your own happiness, rather than becoming stuck with feelings of anger and pain. It’s also intrinsically linked to the ability to believe in yourself and recognise when others are trying to bring you down – and not letting them.

3. Be kind to yourselfshutterstock 331394132 210x300 - How To Have More Confidence in 7 Steps

Sometimes, the way we speak to ourselves is far worse than how we’d treat others. We’re willing to be nasty to ourselves in a way that would be completely unacceptable to others. If you’re someone who does this – telling yourself you’re fat and ugly, for instance – how can you expect to have confidence?

Instead, we should compliment ourselves more and be proud of our achievements. Caring for yourself in this way is not an indulgence, nor is it selfish. It’s a necessity. We must take care of ourselves emotionally, physically and mentally. Bear in mind the saying ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup’ and dedicate time to yourself.

4. Change your thought patternsshutterstock 331392950 203x300 - How To Have More Confidence in 7 Steps

It is possible, even when things aren’t going great, to see your life in a positive light. The problem is patterns of negative thoughts, when repeated in our minds, become a habitual way of thinking. Some people don’t even realise what they think and say has a direct bearing upon their mood.

Instead, you have to work on clearing the blocks. Theta Healing can help you change the negative patterns in your thinking and you’ll learn how reaching for a positive thought in times of emotional distress is a choice you must make.

If people around you are telling you otherwise, you have to question whether they have your best interests at heart. Watch out for individuals who try to pull you down or make you feel like you’re not good enough, and reduce your exposure to them. Trust yourself and learn to listen to that gut feeling.

5. Challenge your limitsshutterstock 79672780 224x300 - How To Have More Confidence in 7 Steps

Improving any area of your life, including your confidence, isn’t something that’s going to happen overnight. It’s a gradual process and something you should start from the ground up.

At some stage though, you’re going to have to push yourself beyond small steps. It’s a part of preparing yourself for potential knocks in confidence that you can’t plan for. Unfortunately, they can come at any time, so it’s best to be ready for challenges that come your way.

So once in a while, push your limits with something that makes you feel uncomfortable. If talking to strangers frightens you, for example, you could go for a walk in the park and ask someone to stroke their dog. It’s an easy way of striking up a conversation and testing yourself – without too much pressure.

Within time, your comfort zone will expand and your confidence will soar.

6. Accept that change happens

Change is a part of life – in fact, it’s the only constant. In order to be confident, you can’t be afraid of change, nor can you worry when things don’t go the way you planned. Exuding confidence is being willing to take a step out of your comfort zone and letting go of control.

The more you test yourself and push that comfort zone though, the more you’ll benefit from a feeling of personal accomplishment – you’ve just got to accept that you can’t control external forces, you can only control your reaction to them. If you don’t believe you can change, you won’t heal. Listen to why in this video:

7. Commit to your body language and image

Making changes to your body language might start off as you faking it somewhat, but making an effort will gradually pay off. Body language includes posture, smiling and eye contact – it makes a huge difference to the way others perceive you, as well as being able to improve your self-worth over time.

The simple act of pulling your shoulders back and walking tall can do wonders for your confidence. So put the effort in and care for your appearance. You’ll reap the rewards, feeling better about yourself every time.

How Theta Healing® can help with your confidence

shutterstock 86038027 200x300 - How To Have More Confidence in 7 StepsThrough a range of Theta Healing® techniques, you can reprogramme your subconscious mind from limiting beliefs that are holding you back from being confident. Even if you’re currently experiencing adversity, the chaos can be a huge confidence booster – you’ve just got to be able to see it as the catalyst for change.

With Theta Healing®, you’ll be able to:

  • Transform self-limiting thoughts
  • Grab the opportunities presented to you

So rather than retreating from crisis in fear, you’ll be able to see it as potential to become stronger. This change all starts with your mindset – take control of life’s up and downs and empower yourself to be the confident person you can be with Theta Healing®.

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